Wednesday, April 18, 2012

My own little trinity (Me, Myself, and I)

We are set free!  Jesus paid for our sin, ended the separation from God, made a way for us to be adopted into the family of YHWH.  But He had His Gethsemane moment.  Even Jesus had to come to a place where He faced the cross, and worse, He faced becoming all things vile, He faced separation from all things good, and it was no easy choice.  Jesus could have chosen differently.  He had a real choice.  He had the freedom to say NO to the cross.  He sweat blood over it.  I've had some hard choices to make but I've never sweat blood.

So He went to the cross to set me free.  And I am eternally grateful for that.  I am grateful he accepted and took into Himself darkness and death itself.  I am grateful He became the "Death Eater" and so I now have access to eternal Life in the Light.  But somewhere along the line, especially in the West, we've stopped there.  We've been lulled into thinking that it is all about our own personal salvation, about us.  And yet, as I look at the man Jesus, and as I read in His WORD that I am to be like Him, inherit what He inherits, be perfect like God is perfect, I see a man who laid down his life.  He laid down his life.  He laid down His ministry.  His family.  His future.  And I think it's easy to forget that He was a man and He loved His life, just like I love my life.  I love being alive.  And there is a deep drive within me to remain alive!

As I come to know this man, Jesus, more and as I realize more deeply that He truly is YHWH, the Everlasing, the One and true God, El Elyon - the Most High, the Creator, I find that me, myself and I are only in the way.  Don't get me wrong, He created me and loves me and desires me and I am fully and unbelievably loved, deeply fulfilled and have found endless safety in Him, but when, in the West, did the question of purpose ("what is my purpose for existing?") start being answered with "personal ministry"?  When did we start believing that this is all about us: my ministry, my safety, my prosperity, my healing, my protection...

I see so many in the church both embrace this and struggle deeply with it.  We love the idea of it all being about us, but the fruit for so many is disillusion and depression when we don't see it happen according to our imaginations.  If we are truly called to be like our Bridegroom, then we, the Bride, must get over ourselves.  Jesus says that we are to lose our lives for His sake (Mt.10:39).  This is not just our sinful life!  This is not just about not getting drunk or high, watching porn, sleeping around or stealing and murdering.  He did not say, "He who lets go of his flesh...", He said, "He who loses his life...".  When did you last hear a sermon on that, on dying?  Every time I chose someone else over my own comfort or my own desires, I lay down my life.  Don Francisco puts the gravity of it well:

I'm not saying ministry is a bad thing or that great churches or wonderful programs have no place in the Body of Christ, what I'm realizing is that they are not the goal to be desired.  If we want to discover our purpose we need to come to our Gethsemane and there at His feet, lay down our self, our dreams, our desires, our very lives.

And this is only possible if we have a perspective, truly embraced deep down inside of us, that these 80 or so years here are just an internship, they are not our job, our calling or our destiny.  The closer I get to 40 the faster these years seem to go, and realizing that leaving here is starting my real calling, at His side, ruling and reigning in the Millennium and beyond, makes stepping aside and preferring others a little easier.  Let's get out of this rabbit hole, this wonderland, the enemy has led us into, and press into the Truth.  And as we do, I think we will find that the protection, prosperity, healing and ministry will follow, but then will be an extension of Him and in return will glorify Him and not our own little trinities.


  1. Is the pursuit of ministry also not part of wanting to be like Jesus? I understand what you are saying and fully agree...I agree we need to realize that ministry is not about us (as you say), it is about others.

    I find myself asking the question, "When did Jesus lay down his life?" and I see now that it was not at the cross. It was when He was baptized by His cousin. It was when He proclaimed that "the Spirit of the Lord is upon Me". It was when He stepped forward and said, "Here I AM. Come to me! I will give you rest!" At that point, His life was no longer His own.

    His life was consumed with His ministry. People were so hungry that they followed Him everywhere -- even to His home! Why were there people out in the middle of no where without anything to eat? Because they followed Him and found Him even when He was trying to find just a little bit of solitude to talk to His Daddy and mourn the murder of His cousin, John.

    It was at that point that His life was no longer His own. It gives a whole new meaning to taking up our own crosses and following Him! If we truly want to pursue a ministry like Jesus', then we must count the cost and not complain when there is not enough time for our own personal pleasures.

    I am sure that Jesus got tired. He was in a body just like ours. But the gospels constantly say that He was moved with compassion when He saw the multitudes. His life was no longer His own. He already knew that. He knew why He was here -- to pour Himself out even before dying on the cross.

    All I can say is, "Wow." I want a compassion for people like Jesus had.

  2. I like that perspective of laying down His life at the point of baptism. Yes, His ministry was an extension of His compassion and that is what ours should be. Our purpose is to follow and be consumed with His heart. But that can happen in hidden places, far from the eyes of people and should not worry us. We are to be consumed with His heart, as mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, daughters and sons. Our ministry may never be in the lime-light but it is no less a ministry and a calling and if we are consumed with passion for Him then we will find ourselves in the middle of His will. And right where we need to be for our "internship".

  3. Love it! Never quiet thought of it like that. I do agree! Our life is a challenge daily and we are so lucky to have God and our savior Jesus walking with us. God Bless you Carrie. Love Yall!

  4. thanks for sharing Laura! I'm glad it blessed you!!